Grief and Loss

Self-care during grief can help you suffer less in mind, body and spirit. Just doing one little thing can start the ball rolling, so don't feel like you need to do everything at once. Start with a few things that feel manageable and in a few days, try one more. There's no right or wrong way to deal with grief, but it always takes time. Be patient with yourself.

If this is an emergency, call:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline

Confidential, free help anytime.

1-800-273-8255

or text:

HOME to 741741

to reach a crisis counselor.

National Suicide Hotline

Tips For Dealing With Grief:

1. Be Kind To Yourself: Grief is painful, and though it may seem far-fetched, there is one person capable of offering you comfort 24 hours a day and seven days a week. That person is you. While self-compassion is not a cultural norm, it should be. Self-compassion has tremendous healing power, and even makes us nicer to be around for others. Treat yourself as you would treat a beloved friend, in word, thought and deed. Give yourself space to feel the pain of grief, and also give yourself permission to take a break when you need it.

2. Get The Right Amount Of Sleep: If you are experiencing grief-related insomnia, follow these good sleep hygiene for grief. If you are sleeping more than you did before your loss, know that this, too, is normal, and may be exactly what you need. If too much sleep is impacting you negatively, in addition to practicing good sleep hygiene, increase your exposure to sunlight, particularly upon waking. Check out this link for some great grief and sleep tips!

3. Eat Healthy, Drink Water: This is tough for some of us even when we are not grieving, but now is the time to tend to your body with regular, healthy meals. Drink plenty of water, as it will help your physical and mental state. Avoid alcohol, as it can upset your sleep schedule and depress your mood.

5. Breathe Mindfully: Breathing fully and with intention accomplishes two things. First, it turns off the stress response known as fight-flight-freeze. Second, it focuses your mind on the present moment, which can stimulate your mental well-being.

Try This Self-Care Practice:

Take several one to five minute breaks throughout the day. Close your eyes and take three long breaths—focus on creating a nice, long exhale. Spend the next few minutes just focusing on your natural breath.

6. Move Your Body: The right kind of physical movement will help your body release the tension and pain that comes with grief. Whether you take a leisurely stroll outside, practice yoga for grief, or go back to the gym, exercise will contribute to better sleep, mental stability, and an overall sense of well-being. Bonus points if you breathe and drink water while you exercise!

Try This Self-Care Practice:

Create your yoga practice for grief.

7. Connect With Others: One of the most important things you can do for your physical and mental well-being is to connect with other human beings (and animals!) who care about you. Go for a walk with a trusted friend, or schedule lunch with a family member with whom you can share mutual support. Sometimes when we are grieving we feel like our existing support system has fallen apart, so consider joining a peer support group or schedule an appointment with a compassionate grief counselor or therapist who is comfortable talking about grief.

8. Pet A Furry Creature: Animals so often can sense our deep emotions, and can be healing for us by just sitting in their presence. They already know how to sit in the suck of difficult times, listen, and love. If you don't have a pet, the local animal shelter always have dogs and cats who need a friend for the day!

9. Express & Create: You don't need to be a professional writer or artist to benefit from creative expression. Putting your thought and feelings into word and pictures can help you make sense out of seemingly senseless feelings. Write daily in your grief journal, or make a collage to express your grief with magazines and glue sticks. Crafting activities, such as knitting and drawing in adult coloring books, can help you focus and activate the creative side of your brain, which can increase your resilience and contribute to a better sense of well-being.

Try This Self-Care Practice:

Choose a Grief Journal and then use these grief journal prompts. You can also sign up for a free AfterTalk.com account, where you can write letters to your loved one.

10. Meditate: There are many forms of meditation to help with grief. This includes contemplative prayer, mindfulness and mantra based meditations, focus and breath practices, guided visualization, walking meditation and yoga (meditation in motion). Meditation helps you take control of your mind and stay in the present, which contributes to your mental well-being. Practice regularly. The frequency with which you practice is more important than the length of your individual session. Start with two to five minutes a day. If you can, work up to 10 to 20 minutes a day.

Try This Self-Care Practice:

Download or stream these free guided meditations for grief or sign up for the free Mindfulness & Grief Book Bonuses.

Adapted from: https://www.nmt.edu/cds/Grief%20.php

Here Is A Great Resource For Creating A Practical Self-Care Plan During Grieving:

https://eterneva.com/resources/self-care-during-grief-tips

If That Didn't Work, Here Is A Video Of Some Cute Baby Animals:

Dealing With Losing A Pet:

When a person you love dies, it's natural to feel sorrow, express grief, and expect friends and family to provide understanding and comfort.

Unfortunately, you don't always get that understanding when a pet dies. Some people still don't understand how central animals can be in people's lives, and a few may not get why you're grieving over "just a pet."

We know how much pets mean to most people. People love their pets and consider them members of their family. Caregivers often celebrate their pets' birthdays, confide in their animals and carry pictures of them in their wallets. So when a beloved pet dies, it's not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your sorrow. Here are some things to help you cope:

Acknowledge your grief and give yourself permission to express it.

Don't hesitate to reach out to others who can lend a sympathetic ear. Do a little research online and you'll find hundreds of resources and support groups that may be helpful to you.

Write about your feelings, either in a journal or a poem, essay, or short story.

Call your veterinarian or local humane society to see whether they offer a pet-loss support group or hotline, or can refer you to one.

Prepare a memorial for your pet. (See a great video on this below!)

When you're ready, remember that your local animal shelter or rescue is a great place to find your next special friend. You'll know when the time is right to adopt a new pet after giving yourself time to grieve, considering whether you're ready, and paying close attention to your feelings.

Trying to protect your child by saying the pet ran away could cause your child to expect the pet's return and feel betrayed after discovering the truth. Expressing your own grief may reassure your child that sadness is ok and help them work through their feelings.